Letter from Jewish victim/survivor of child sexual abuse
Anonymous*
17 February 2015
Dear Zephaniah and Manny,
I know you must be getting endless messages from strangers telling you that you are heroes. You must hear it so often it might begin to lose its meaning. But I want you both to know that you have contributed to my healing in such a huge way without even knowing it and I will forever be grateful. You are both my personal heroes. In every sense of the word.
I was molested as a child. I recently went public about my abuse. I lost dozens friends. Some of whom I have known my whole life. I grew up ultra-orthodox and although I wish I could go back and be a part of my community, I no longer feel safe there being so open about my abuse. I feel judged and ashamed.
I hurt so much. Flashbacks. Nightmares. Night terrors. Addiction. Bulimia. I struggle to survive every single day.
But watching the Royal Commission these past few weeks brought me such healing and gave me a deep sense of hope. It was the most beautiful thing in the world to see these people be publicly held accountable.
Even though some of the rabbis who testified didn't quite tell the truth that was ok. Because WE all know the truth. When Glick said he didn't remember AVR I cried. Because of course he remembers him... of course he does. AVR matters. We all matter. The Royal Commission affirmed that for me. It affirmed for me that there are good people in this world. People who are willing to do whatever it takes to pursue justice and truth. It affirmed for me that I matter. My pain is real. I am not crazy or dirty or broken or bad. I am just a person who had a terrible thing happen to me when I was little. It's not my fault.
Thank you Zaphaniah and Manny. From the very bottom of my heart, thank you.
*The author of this message wished to post this publicly.
I know you must be getting endless messages from strangers telling you that you are heroes. You must hear it so often it might begin to lose its meaning. But I want you both to know that you have contributed to my healing in such a huge way without even knowing it and I will forever be grateful. You are both my personal heroes. In every sense of the word.
I was molested as a child. I recently went public about my abuse. I lost dozens friends. Some of whom I have known my whole life. I grew up ultra-orthodox and although I wish I could go back and be a part of my community, I no longer feel safe there being so open about my abuse. I feel judged and ashamed.
I hurt so much. Flashbacks. Nightmares. Night terrors. Addiction. Bulimia. I struggle to survive every single day.
But watching the Royal Commission these past few weeks brought me such healing and gave me a deep sense of hope. It was the most beautiful thing in the world to see these people be publicly held accountable.
Even though some of the rabbis who testified didn't quite tell the truth that was ok. Because WE all know the truth. When Glick said he didn't remember AVR I cried. Because of course he remembers him... of course he does. AVR matters. We all matter. The Royal Commission affirmed that for me. It affirmed for me that there are good people in this world. People who are willing to do whatever it takes to pursue justice and truth. It affirmed for me that I matter. My pain is real. I am not crazy or dirty or broken or bad. I am just a person who had a terrible thing happen to me when I was little. It's not my fault.
Thank you Zaphaniah and Manny. From the very bottom of my heart, thank you.
*The author of this message wished to post this publicly.