Call for apology as Rabbi Manis Friedman likens child sex abuse to 'diarrhoea'
Chip Le Grand
The Australian
1 February 2013
A LEADING figure within the ultra-orthodox Jewish movement that governs yeshiva colleges in Australia has ridiculed victims of sex abuse, likening the impact of child molestation to the "embarrassment" of diarrhoea and insisting victims are "not that damaged".
The comments by Rabbi Manis Friedman, a prominent New York-based leader of the Chabad-Lubavitch movement, were condemned by Sydney Rabbi Moshe Gutnick, president of the Organisation of Rabbis of Australasia, as an attempt to "theologically trivialise" the impact of child sex abuse.
Anti-sexual abuse campaigner Manny Waks launched simultaneous legal action against Rabbi Friedman in Jewish courts in New York and Sydney yesterday aimed at forcing a public apology and retraction of the comments circulating widely on a YouTube clip.
The Chabad-Lubavitch movement has been plagued by allegations of sexual assault at its yeshivas - traditional Jewish schools - in Melbourne, Sydney and New York.
Mr Waks, who was sexually abused when a he was a yeshiva student in Melbourne in the 1980s, said Rabbi Friedman was considered an "enlightened and moderate" leader of the ultra-orthodox community and his comments would deter other victims of abuse from coming forward.
Rabbi Friedman, a global emissary of the Chabad-Lubavitch movement headquartered in Crown Heights, Brooklyn, has family ties in Melbourne, where his cousin Sheiny New is a spokeswoman for the Jewish Taskforce against Family Violence.
Ms New yesterday distanced the taskforce from the rabbi's views.
"The pain and suffering of all victims of sexual assault must never be minimised," she said.
In a video-taped interview posted on YouTube this week and since removed, Rabbi Friedman questions whether sexual abuse is a big averiah (sin) and why victims of abuse feel damaged. "You are not that damaged -- cut it out," he said. "If in fact you did do an averiah, so do two mitzvois (good deeds). Regain your balance."
Rabbi Friedman suggests abuse was endemic within the ultra-orthodox community, saying "there is hardly a kid who comes to a yeshiva, to a program, that hasn't been molested". In a lengthy and at times rambling interview, the rabbi recalls the case of an abuse victim who sought his advice on whether to tell his fiance about his experiences.
"He said: 'Do I have to tell that I was molested?'. I said: 'Do you have to tell that you once had diarrhoea?' It's embarrassing but nobody's business."
The rabbi also recalls a conversation he had with a girl who confided in him that she was molested when she was nine. "So? Nobody is allowed to touch you? What are you, holy?" he said. "I said to this girl . . . 'Do you think you are the only one who was molested? Do you think your mother and grandmother back in Russia made it through their teenage years without being molested by a shegetz? Why are you so fragile?"
Shegetz is a derogatory word for a non-Jewish man.
Rabbi Friedman said victims of abuse, rather than being left damaged, learned an important lesson.
"In fact, you have learned that not every counsellor is heilig (holy) and not every uncle is your best friend. Am I damaged material? The answer is we are all damaged. Join the club."
A growing public backlash to the video prompted Rabbi Friedman to post a second interview in which he describes molestation of children as a "crisis" within the Jewish religious community. However, he does not retract his earlier comments.
A former teacher at Melbourne's Yeshivah College in East St Kilda, David Kramer, was extradited from the US last month to face 12 charges including indecent assault and indecent acts with children between 1989 and 1992.
In a separate case, former school security guard David Cyprys is due to stand trial in July on charges of child rape and other sexual abuse against 12 students in the 1980s.
In Brooklyn, New York, former yeshiva principal Emanuel Yegutkin was last month convicted of 75 counts of child sex abuse.
Brooklyn District Attorney Charles Hynes, who has previously compared the ultra-orthodox community to the mafia for its refusal to expose sexual predators, said Yegutkin, 33, could face the rest of his life in jail.
Rabbi Gutnick, writing in response to Mr Wak's concerns, said when the ultra-orthodox community failed to acknowledge the gravity and devastating affect of child sex abuse, "we unwittingly assist the perpetrators" and "fail in our duty to victims".
"The clip appears to theologically trivialise and minimise the physical, physiological and spiritual damage caused to the victims of sexual abuse," Rabbi Gutnick said.
Originally published at The Australian.
The comments by Rabbi Manis Friedman, a prominent New York-based leader of the Chabad-Lubavitch movement, were condemned by Sydney Rabbi Moshe Gutnick, president of the Organisation of Rabbis of Australasia, as an attempt to "theologically trivialise" the impact of child sex abuse.
Anti-sexual abuse campaigner Manny Waks launched simultaneous legal action against Rabbi Friedman in Jewish courts in New York and Sydney yesterday aimed at forcing a public apology and retraction of the comments circulating widely on a YouTube clip.
The Chabad-Lubavitch movement has been plagued by allegations of sexual assault at its yeshivas - traditional Jewish schools - in Melbourne, Sydney and New York.
Mr Waks, who was sexually abused when a he was a yeshiva student in Melbourne in the 1980s, said Rabbi Friedman was considered an "enlightened and moderate" leader of the ultra-orthodox community and his comments would deter other victims of abuse from coming forward.
Rabbi Friedman, a global emissary of the Chabad-Lubavitch movement headquartered in Crown Heights, Brooklyn, has family ties in Melbourne, where his cousin Sheiny New is a spokeswoman for the Jewish Taskforce against Family Violence.
Ms New yesterday distanced the taskforce from the rabbi's views.
"The pain and suffering of all victims of sexual assault must never be minimised," she said.
In a video-taped interview posted on YouTube this week and since removed, Rabbi Friedman questions whether sexual abuse is a big averiah (sin) and why victims of abuse feel damaged. "You are not that damaged -- cut it out," he said. "If in fact you did do an averiah, so do two mitzvois (good deeds). Regain your balance."
Rabbi Friedman suggests abuse was endemic within the ultra-orthodox community, saying "there is hardly a kid who comes to a yeshiva, to a program, that hasn't been molested". In a lengthy and at times rambling interview, the rabbi recalls the case of an abuse victim who sought his advice on whether to tell his fiance about his experiences.
"He said: 'Do I have to tell that I was molested?'. I said: 'Do you have to tell that you once had diarrhoea?' It's embarrassing but nobody's business."
The rabbi also recalls a conversation he had with a girl who confided in him that she was molested when she was nine. "So? Nobody is allowed to touch you? What are you, holy?" he said. "I said to this girl . . . 'Do you think you are the only one who was molested? Do you think your mother and grandmother back in Russia made it through their teenage years without being molested by a shegetz? Why are you so fragile?"
Shegetz is a derogatory word for a non-Jewish man.
Rabbi Friedman said victims of abuse, rather than being left damaged, learned an important lesson.
"In fact, you have learned that not every counsellor is heilig (holy) and not every uncle is your best friend. Am I damaged material? The answer is we are all damaged. Join the club."
A growing public backlash to the video prompted Rabbi Friedman to post a second interview in which he describes molestation of children as a "crisis" within the Jewish religious community. However, he does not retract his earlier comments.
A former teacher at Melbourne's Yeshivah College in East St Kilda, David Kramer, was extradited from the US last month to face 12 charges including indecent assault and indecent acts with children between 1989 and 1992.
In a separate case, former school security guard David Cyprys is due to stand trial in July on charges of child rape and other sexual abuse against 12 students in the 1980s.
In Brooklyn, New York, former yeshiva principal Emanuel Yegutkin was last month convicted of 75 counts of child sex abuse.
Brooklyn District Attorney Charles Hynes, who has previously compared the ultra-orthodox community to the mafia for its refusal to expose sexual predators, said Yegutkin, 33, could face the rest of his life in jail.
Rabbi Gutnick, writing in response to Mr Wak's concerns, said when the ultra-orthodox community failed to acknowledge the gravity and devastating affect of child sex abuse, "we unwittingly assist the perpetrators" and "fail in our duty to victims".
"The clip appears to theologically trivialise and minimise the physical, physiological and spiritual damage caused to the victims of sexual abuse," Rabbi Gutnick said.
Originally published at The Australian.